I really should share some stories of that time on here - those that I'm ready to share. I've bottled up and have chosen not to remember a lot of it (yay compartimentalization!), but there are some really interesting stories. As in: my manic conversation with God and the Devil. That's fills an entire notebook, so there should be a good post or three in there!
I digress! I am so happy to say that I celebrated 10 months of sobriety yesterday. Hu-rah!
The day was filled with a lot of ups and and unexpected down. First, the ups:
Work! I knew I was leaving early for errands, so hummed right along at work. I really love what I do, and feel like I'm at a place where my education, skills, and quickness (yup, I'm a speedster at work!) can really make a difference. It's such a good feeling. I ran invoices and cleared half of my to-do piles on my desk and felt pretty darn accomplished.
Workout! I couldn't be happier with how this went! Jerry had me doing 4x800m and 4x400m on the track, as we haven't edited much due to pregnancy yet (haven't had to! lucky me!).
Now - try to picture the scene: An almost-18-week-pregnant mama deciding to bare her pasty white blubber of a stomach (it was hot!!) while trying to do a fast track workout, accompanied by tall, fit, tanned Craig who looks like he is floating along while doing his own intervals. #awesomeness
|Yep, no hiding it any more|
2:56 (gasping for breath at the end - it's harder to deliver enough oxygen to baby and myself now!)
And... we're done. Uf.
|All sub-3, and one in 2:56... I'm really proud of that effort considering I'm toting this around!|
Owatonna - Stop 2: The head coaches at Carleton recommended I work with Court Sports for printing, so off I drove! They were great! Especially since I dropped off a huge carton of the most mis-matched colors/types of clothing/jackets/etc possible.
Owatonna - Stop 3: Since I was in Owatonna, I decided to stop in at Beauterre to say hi. Plus, it was my 10 month anniversary - so, perfect timing!
I was so nervous walking up to the building! I looked down at my Target flats, which were coincidentally the shoes I ran in for my first 3 days there (until Nathan saved me by bringing actual running shoes... I still have the scar from those Target shoes, though - proud of that scar and those first miles to recovery!).
I was immediately greeted by two of the RSs (Recovery Specialists) with big hugs and smiles. We talked for a little bit, and I observed some of the current patients. Some of them just looked - unhealthy, unhappy, and... gray. It really surprised me. Is that what I and my peers looked like there?
Then, to my left, a mom and 6 month old gave daddy, a patient, a hug goodbye as visiting hours ended. I immediately broke into tears. I remember those afternoons/days - eagerly awaiting visitors, cherishing my limited time with them, and then running back to my room to bury my face in my pillow after they left. Being away from Nathan and Greta was the HARDEST thing. I felt like I was locked up, just wishing away these 28 days.
|One of her visits she was a little under the weather which meant she wanted to snuggle the entire time, which was the best gift she could have given me at the time! *Love*|
I am digressing again. Sorry about that. There were a lot of fun memories, but I didn't realize I had shut out - or forgotten?- the negative memories.
I'm glad I stopped in and saw that young family saying their goodbyes. It reminded me of where I was at, how far I've come, and how alcohol, or any other addictive substance, can not and will not ever be good for me, no matter how it tries to trick me into thinking otherwise!
The rest of the night was great, but a bit emotional. It was as if I had unsettled emotions stirring around in my stomach. Hate that feeling. On a much more positive note, though, I sat down to organize TNC camp RSVPs and bed spaces and realized what AN AWESOME CREW we will have up there that weekend! It's a speedy group, that's for sure!! I can not WAIT! If you've been thinking: gosh, that might be fun! Send me an email! It doesn't hurt to at least inquire - and I think we can fit another, maybe 2 more, individuals!
|On the agenda for this weekend: plan the mountain of food I'll need to bring with to camp!|
Your turn, just to lighten up this post!
1)The best random, unplanned, thing that happened to you this week?
2) The best workout you had this week?