What a wonderful weekend!

I was able to chalk up my 3rd marathon win this year and a new personal best for 2013.  It was all the more fun to be able to experience that with family and friends.

Where to start the recap?  Perhaps with, well, the race? Okay, because you asked so nicely :).

We woke up the morning of the race at 6:00 for "first breakfast".  As I'm not a good fat burner, I know I need a lot of easily digestable carbs before the race and need  to take in a lot during the race as well.  So, two rounds of breakfast it is.  Nate, Ben and I sat down to enjoy oatmeal.  The rule we had made the night before was "nothing negative" - only positive comments allowed.  I've learned how powerful this can be for a race.  Nobody complained about the wet weather. Ben commented on how he loved the oatmeal - as he stirred it around, obviously trying to choke it down.  Personally, I love plain oatmeal with a little fake sweetener.  I don't know if he shares that same love, but he wasn't allowed to say anything otherwise :).

Note to self - don't eat so much the day before, so that you can wake up hungry.  I wasn't hungry at all, so probably didn't eat enough at either breakfast.  

I was finished pretty quickly and laid back down for 20 or so minutes of fitful sleep before getting up again.  Time for a little more food, getting my race gear on, writing a few splits on my hand (2:45 on one hand, 2:50 on another), and packing up everything I'd need.  I headed over to the elite staging area.  Nate and Ben left after me for the Dome, both with nervous anticipation for their first marathons.

The elite staging area was great, although lonely.  There were just 4-5 people there?  Guess that's a good thing, so I can concentrate on myself.  But I sometimes like the distraction of other people.  I put in my first 4-5 minute warm up with 30 minutes before the start.  Feeling pretty good, although not amazingly springy.  Doesn't matter,  I told myself.  This is my race and I am ready.

I was told we'd have an escort to the start so sort of waited around for that.  With 10 minutes before the start,  I decided to make my way over myself.  Glad I did... don't know if there ever was one?  Because of the confusion, I missed my second warm up and strides... duh.  Nichole, you know better than this!  I should have brought myself to the start line earlier to do what I know I need to do.  That was dumb.

Right before the start!

The gun went off at 8:15.  I was calm the first mile, going through at exactly 6:30, which was my goal.  I wanted to take 3 miles to get down below 6:20s, which I was able to execute really well.

Except that at mile 1 I felt a weight on my chest - it was humid and warm.  Disregard it, I told myself.

As I tried to maintain sub-6:20s,  I quickly realized that wasn't smart.  My legs were working much harder than they should have to maintain mid 6:20s.  So I went with how I felt, telling myself that I'd rather cruise through half way and then be able to bring my pace down then than burn myself out too early.

I came through the half in about 1:24:30-40, not quite sure.  I did the math as was excited  that I'd be able to run sub 2:50, if not 2:48ish with a solid negative split.

At mile 16, family told me that woman #2 was only a block behind me.  Hmmm... good  to know, but a little too close for comfort!

My next hand check point  was at mile 17.  I was still feeling great at this point, and noted I was 45 seconds faster than where my 2:50 split said I should be.  Awesome!  I knew 2:50 was about 6:30 mile pace, so thought to myself that if I could continue to run 6:20s, if not faster that last 5-10k, that I could finish in 2:48 or so.  I'd be pretty happy with that!

But at that point, the sun had come out.  Rut-roh.  Such a noticeable difference between the humid and warm cloud-covered air and the bright blue sky with direct, unfiltered sun.  And as you all know, I am probably one of the worst heat marathoners out there...

I hung on for another 3 miles or so, willing myself to ignore the heat.  Dr. Asp's training comes in handy here.

Except when your body actually does shut down... there's nothing your mind can do to will yourself to continue to run fast.  And that's exactly what happened.  I became increasingly dizzy and light headed.  I'm honestly not sure what is the exact cause - I've always dealt with dizziness at the end of marathons (although it's better now that I take 6 gels along the course and have a lot of breakfast before hand) - so could be sugar/nutrition related or heat related.  Or both.

Either way, I faded... quickly.  Luckily, it looks like everyone else did as well.  The woman who was just 20 seconds back at 16 miles finished 5:15 behind me.  So as bad as I faded... it could have been a lot worse.

BUT - this is absolutely something I need to figure out before Chicago.  It affects my performance a lot.  Obviously, I don't know if there's much I can do about the heat or my reaction to it (it has been much more severe since the Gustavus 5k heat incident) - but if anyone has ideas, I would be very appreciative.  I'll explore a few different nutrition options as well.  I also might be willing to try carb-cycling during my next training cycle to try to get my body to be able to burn fat... whatever it takes to ward off  this awful last 10k dizziness... just need to do more research first.

But - back to the race!  I still have 10 miserable kilometers to cover!  I was so thankful for my lead bike at that point.  I focused on her yellow jacket and told myself to stick with her.  Only problem is that she slows when you slow...  but let's not dwell on that.  I pretended she was another woman I was racing for the win.  Just stick with her!  I honestly don't know if there was a whole lot of other thinking going on those last few miles... just pure survival mode. 

At 25.5 miles, a second bike came up beside me.  OH CRAP!!!  I knew there were lead bikes for the 2nd and 3rd place  women as well (well, assuming... since I saw the bikes for the 2nd and 3rd men).  I thought she had caught me!!!!!!!!!!!!

I looked to my left to see if I could catch a glimpse of her.  She had to be really close as that bike was now directly at my side.  I didn't see anyone, but put my head down and decided to dig.  However crappy I felt and un-functioning my brain was,  I am strong and I can fight.

Luckily, she never showed.  Apparently the other bike was just to help lead me in, and it's actually really cool to be escorted in like that. Eventually I had three lead bikes with me, but there were about 45 seconds of terror in there before I figured out what they meant. :) 

There is nothing like finishing in the Fargodome.  You go down a slight ramp before entering (don't trip on the grate!  As Nate reminded me... as that's how I made a graceful appearance in 2009 -  being introduced on the jumbo-tron and then landing full-out on the ground :)) and then finish your last 30 or so seconds in the Dome.  It is so awesome to do it as the lead female. Three bikes with loud horns all honking, and the announcer encouraging the crowd to their feet and their loudest. This was my first time getting to break though a finisher's tape. :)

Published in the Grand Forks Herald. Photo credit to Dave Wallis / The Forum.

After a quick trip to the medical tent (how typical of me), I got to wait around as Nate came in to finish his first marathon in 3:20. It wasn't the Boston qualifier he was hoping for, and he made the rookie mistake of going out a bit too fast (1:31 for the half), and paid for it in the last 6 miles. I am still really impressed by his finish, and now he can say he is a marathoner too! It was so much fun to have so many people up there doing Fargo along with me. My brother finished his first marathon in 3:47, my father-in-law finished his first marathon since 1989 in just under 5 hours  (and at least he still had a good time, even if he did have to walk the last 5 miles due to cramps). Plus Dr. Asp, Mark, Jake, Kenny in the marathon. Claire had an awesome race in the half marathon (I called her finish time within a second - genius coach? Or luck? :)). The Gustavus assistant coach Brenden won the 10k. It was so much fun to be a part of!

Jim, my father in law, had to walk the last 4 miles of the marathon because he would cramp every time he tried  to run.  I can't imagine... this sign is fitting :)  Although... this is still during his "race". I am working with him on his "racing" mentality!

Not used to this sort of thing...

The family (Jim, Karen and Jess are still out on the course).  Dad, Nate, Ben (back), Mary (Ben's girlfriend), Mom.

1:37:59 for Claire in the half!  Not bad for someone who just decided to start running/training this January, right?!?

Splits:
6:30
6:23
6:17
6:24
6:25
6:29
6:28
6:18
6:24
6:16
6:27
6:19
6:28
(weird that I oscillated so much between high 6:20s and high 6:10s.  Usually I'm more even than this - perhaps the turns/wind had something to do with this?)
6:21 - started to allow myself to open up.  Felt so strong and in control.
6:17
6:22
6:19
6:19
6:19
6:23
6:29 - started to not feel well. Sun had been out for the last 3 miles or so without cloud cover.
6:34
6:35
6:40
6:55 - Oh man.  Dizzy.  Lightheaded.  I didn't care about much here other than putting one foot in front of the other. Focus on the biker ahead of you!
7:02
6:56 for .46 (course measured long by my Garmin)
= 2:50:49

Here's my post from my first Fargo marathon.  Interesting that I mention shooting for the Trials back then... as a 2:58 marathoner (my first sub-3!).  Dream big!!

Interview after the race: http://www.valleynewslive.com/story/22288487/nicole-porath-wins-the-womens#.UZf946iiX9s.facebook

Good picture of me breaking the tape: http://www.grandforksherald.com/event/image/id/79612/headline/Nichole%20Porath,%20of%20Northfield,%20Minn.,%20is%20the%20womens%20division%20winner/
Can I email them to ask for a copy?  Would they actually give me a copy?  I wonder - I'd love to have it (already right click copied it...).

I'll end this by saying that I know I have an extraordinary journey ahead of me in order to make that sub 2:43 standard this fall. I can't even tell you how fun that sounds... having to be "all in" to chase some crazy "should be impossible" goal :).  If I've needed Team Nichole in the past, I will most definitely be relying them in the next 4.5 months.  As heavily as I ever have.  Please feel free to reach out - in any way. I always love comments here. And I know I have so many insightful readers who have provided me great advice and suggestions in the past.

But in the meantime, this week I'm going to allow myself to eat whatever I feel like, enjoy a drink or two, and just run easy - however long or short I feel like.  There will be plenty of all-in weeks ahead of me!!!!!

Oh - I'm meeting with Jerry tomorrow afternoon to strategize for Chicago.  Pretty sure there will be an excited-lets-start-training post shortly thereafter.  LOVE that part of the training cycle!!

Cookie coma, commence!

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There will be a long post in the next couple of days... but until then...a few pictures and results :)


Team Nichole showed up in full force, including my parents!  My brother and husband also did the marathon (their first!).

I finished in 2:50 something. Good enough to win the race, but I really would have liked to run faster...but I also know that it was HOT the last 10 miles. I felt GREAT from mile 16-20, and knew that was when I needed to start bringing my mile splits down. I moved from about 6:25 pace to sub 6:20 in those miles, and was super strong and in control. I was planning on then bringing my pace down to 6:10 or faster for the last 10k, but by then the sun was out FULL force.  I am no match for heat.... no matter how much I prepare, how much I've willed myself to accept the pain, physical toll.... I am just more susceptible to the heat.

So instead of speeding up, I think mile 21 was 7:00 or so???  That's a minute slower than I'd hope to be at the end of a marathon when I'm able to close (which I feel like I'd be able to do without the heat! I felt SO  strong until the temp started to rise!). Full recap to come tomorrow or Monday.  Here's a few pictures in the meantime :)

My parents. Best cheer section ever!

The family cheer section. Nate's family was there too, but Nate's dad was still out on the course at this point.

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Ready to go!




We arrived in Fargo at 11:30pm on Thursday, deciding to make the 4 hour drive two days before hand vs. on Friday.  Great decision.  The elite coordinator was SO nice about our arrival time.  I called him to let him know how late it was going to be and he paused for a second (I'm sure thinking, "Oh.... 11:30???), but then said, "Oh, not a problem!  I was going to be up anyway!  Let me know if there's anything you need.  Anything at all - you're our special guest!".  Wow :).  Red carpet treatment!!

Nate and I moved into our apartment room and promptly got to bed.  I was wiped.

After sleeping in, we got out for our pre-race day run.  He went a whole 13 minutes and I went about 3.5 miles.  I've typically done about 10-15 minutes the day before, but am playing with my taper for this cycle.  So far, I think it's been a little better for me - the legs felt a slight "push" today, not springy, but that "push" is almost more rare than springy-ness - but tomorrow will be the true test.  Can't speak too soon!

We then ventured to the Expo.  For a small expo, it was great!  A lot of free samples and friendly vendors!

We were lucky enough to stop by the Swanson booth while Dick Beardsley was signing books.  I was ACTUALLY just thinking how I needed to buy a copy of "Duel in the Sun" (the book that inspires me to hurt in a marathon), so I was pumped to be able to get a copy autographed.  I was also able to spend a lot of time talking with him.  There were a few questions I had that he had insightful answers for.

Still looks like a marathoner, eh? :)

 The first is that I don't feel ready for a big breakthrough.  How do those come along?  If I had to guess my finish time tomorrow, it'd be between 2:45-2:50 (also factoring in the fact that it'll be warm, and everyone knows how terrible of a warm-weather racer I am).  None of my tempos have been below 5:55, and most  of them have been about 6:00-6:05, which points to about a 6:20ish mile pace.  But at what point to you throw caution to the wind and just try for something crazy?  His answer was XYZ marathon (can't remember which one).  He went to write his mile splits on his arm but stopped after mile 2.  He decided he was going to go out with the leaders and just see what he could do, how long he could hold on.  He lasted 15 miles with them and then faded - but faded to a 2:15 finish.  Previously, all of his finishes had been 2:21-2:22 and he was just hoping for sub 2:20.

So - I have yet to decide what I'm going to do tomorrow.  I will still write 2:45 and 2:50 paces on my hands just so I can see where I'm at, but I think I might just run blind.  Find a pack of guys and just run race.

The second was how to break out of a rut.  I've been stuck at 6:00 tempo pace for a while (although, last summer had a nice 4-6 week streak of 5:40-5:45 cruise interval workouts, so it can be done!).  How do you propel yourself faster in workouts?  Did he ever hit a sticking point with paces?  He said he did, but that when he moved under Squires, he had him add 8-10x 100m stride-outs 3x per week.  Not sprints, not all out, but just to get the legs firing quickly.

The other piece of advice was to take the 20+ mile runs hard.  Fartleks, intervals, etc.  Although I've done well with this in the last year, I can do better.  Often when Jerry writes a 20+ mile workout with tempo and MP or other pace changes, I'll stop before and afterwards, sometimes for a while.  The point is probably not to stop like that.  Also, perhaps I can add in some shorter fartlek pace changes into the long runs?  Will propose to Jerry, see what the genius thinks :)

Then, a great pasta feed, strategizing about the course, where people will be cheering, etc.   It's fun to have so many family members up running the full with me, as well as a lot of family up cheering!  That really does make an event that much more fun.

Bottle creating!  Went with cheap-o bottled water as my "bottles", basically just using them to get my gel out on the course.

And now, time to put the finishing touches on the race pile and then get to bed early.  If anyone wants to track me, I'm bib #16!  And while you're at it, say a prayer that there's a slight rain during the race to help cool the day... :)

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I'm in the process of switching my template (in case you haven't noticed!).  Bear with me... this may take me a while. 

As long as I'm at it, anything I should add to the blog??

There's a reason I didn't try hurdling in high school.  Or coding html.

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Nate is signed up to race Fargo this year.  He held out on the marathon distance, but the combination of having to answer the question "Have you run a marathon" with "no", (answer really was: well, I have run the marathon distance as a training run for skiing, but no, not technically... which is WAAAY too long of an answer and people would get bored of him half way through the explanation) and the fact that his Dad signed up for Fargo to celebrate his 60th birthday (and heck, if he is SIXTY...).  My brother also decided to run Fargo as his first marathon (age 22).  Nate decided he just had to join everyone and at least give it a try.

His original goal was 3:15-20 and he asked me to sketch out a plan for the hard workouts.  Soon he asked me to fill in the entire workout plan.  Not going to lie, this is the first time he's ever asked  for a daily plan (I've been telling him he should write out a nordic ski plan for, well, forever) - and I was SUPER impressed with how well he followed it.  There were evenings where he would get home late and I'd ask him what he needed to do.  He'd respond, "Well, my plan says 9 miles - so 9 it is!".  You know how it is when you're tired, and it's late - the last thing you want to do is a run that will conclude around 10 at night.  But he'd never talk about shortening it, switching days, etc.  He also didn't drag his feet - he'd just hit the pavement.

There were sometimes that he'd be a little too beat up and I'd re-arrange the plan.  It's not easy to turn ski legs into marathon legs within a matter of about 6-8 weeks.  But other than that, I think he can say he followed the plan to a "T".

It was also fun to do some of our workouts together.  In fact, the last tempo workout we did he kept up with me for the last repeat.

After the Boston bombings, Nate declared that he wanted to hit a Boston qualifier.  It's 3:05 for men.  This will take a huge day for him, but I am all about shooting for huge goals.

So, now that we're the week of the race,  I asked him if he wanted  to try my carb-depletion and loading regimine.  He shrugged his shoulders and said "Why not? I'll need every last advantage I can get!".  Normally I wouldn't recommend this for first-time marathoners, as the first marathon should just be about seeing where you're at and the experience in general (you can start pulling out all of the stops for the second, third, etc).  But, he will need every advantage he can get - and plus, I just wanted to experiment. Hehehe, evil coach :).

Just wait until the next training cycle... bwa-hahahaha!

I'm curious to see how a larger guy who burns pretty "hot" (i.e. not my pathetic metabolism) responds.  2 days in, and here are the results:

• Day 1:  Great.  Egg scrambles, lettuce wraps, and burgers.  He even substituted diet coke for coke (big deal for him).  Nothing really to note.
• Day 2:  
• AM: Received text: "Wow - this carb depletion thing hit me! Head is very foggy this morning".  Apparently, as the day went on, things got better.  But he did say that at the start of the day he was a little worried about coming at someone with a dental handpiece and being shaky :).
• PM: After a burger, side salad and 2-3 chicken breasts (not sure how many he devoured), he longingly opens the fridge.  "I just want sugar!".  20 minutes later he opens the pantry and cries out to the dog that he really wants marshmallows (really, no other sugar in the house).

• Day 3: tomorrow, so nothing to note yet.  He has my typical short tempo workout scheduled for the early AM.  Should be interesting, I'm sure :).  Stay tuned!
• Day 4-6: carb-loading.  He is excited to have a coke :)

I'm also doing the depletion/loading, but I've found the more that I've done this, the less the depletion phase affects me.  My breathing today was a little more labored than usual, but not bad.  It usually takes me until the end of the third day to really feel much (although my first adventure, here, I reacted pretty strongly).

Onward to Fargo!


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Mental training has made such a HUGE difference in my racing ability.

I am working with Dr. Asp to create a "training CD" to help me through my training leading up to Chicago (my 2016 qualifying attempt).  He has been so instrumental in my running performance so far (and ability to embrace pain and push harder than I thought possible!), so I am SO excited to be able to use this.  All too often I psych myself out over my hard workouts.  They will hurt!  They are so long!  My legs feel heavy already, my times will be slow?

I'm sure you've had these thoughts as well :).

So true!!

He'll be finalizing my CD on Monday, so thought I'd post here to capture great training and racing mantras. I'd love to add others to my current repertoire. Here are a few of my current  favorites:

"You are f'ing badass - this workout is badass!" (explitives work so well, thank you, Angela!!)

"This is your race/workout"  I think about how I can control the pace, that I am running relaxed at the moment so I can pick it  up later - that I am in control of when I pick it up.

"2016 Olympic Trials" - this visual and phrase is SO powerful for me.  I want it more than anything!  I know I will have to hurt more than ANYTHING to be able to get there, so it encourages me to accept that much more  pain :)  I visualize  the 2012start/finish line banner as well.


I also remind myself of my dream.  The reason I am not working full-time anymore. What an opportunity! Let's chase after it! Let's see what your potential is!!

Form: Running light and tall, on top of my feet.  I also  picture a men's 10k race where they have such awesome knee drive and leg extension.  Their hip rotation is so impressive.  I try to mimic this.

I encourage everyone reading this to comment.  What are your training or racing mantras you use???  If you've never commented here, now is the perfect opportunity!

Dr. Asp was recently published in Marathon and Beyond with a sample race script.  If you've been wondering if working with a sports psychologist could help you,  perhaps picking up a copy of this month's publication  might help.  He gives his typical first script in the article.  Obviously, it's more effective when you add your personal experiences and goals into the CD,  but this is a great introduction.
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Mesa and I are officially registered to represent the Stunt Puppy team at the Fast and the Furry 5k9 (get it? :)) on May 25th!!!!

http://www.fastandthefurry.com/

We are both super excited about it (well, I am... she just cocks her head to the side and stares at me :)).  I'm excited to formally run in our Stunt Puppy gear there, since we put SO many miles in with it together.  If you run with your dog, it really is worth looking into a hands-free leash - and Stunt Puppy's are by far the best (I've also logged miles in Ruffwear - not nearly as runner friendly).

Let me know if you'll be there.  It should be a really fun event!!

Seriously, the Stunt Runner is the best thing out there.  I can't tell you how many hundreds (thousands?) of miles Mesa and I have logged together happily because of their leashes!

Mesa's personal best is a 17:51 at the Doggie Dash 5k in Dundas last year.  She is welcoming any human/dog competition to pace her to a new personal best!

We could publish our secret doggie training, diet, and taper plan, but we don't want to tip off the competition.  We're secretive, just like Salazar :).



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It's taper time!  How did that come up so quick?

This taper will be about the same as my previous except that mileage will be held a little higher through this week (week 2) - at 84.  In previous cycles I've felt a little stale, so wondered if I'd feel better if I kept more normalcy with doubles and mileage.  That could have been because we also had to cut mileage significantly the last month because  I was running tired and stressed (case in point: NYC).  We'll see how well holding higher mileage works (without the question mark of work stress and how that plays into everything). 

Legs have been a little beat up since the GAC 5k "crash and burn" race.  I took a day off earlier than planned the following week in order to give myself a chance at hitting a 4x2 mile tempo workout.  Even though the 5k was slow, it took everything out of them - to be expected when you run to and through the wall like that.  The day off seemed to have helped and I was able to average sub 6's through those.  Although, it's hard to tell what pace I was really at since I was inside on a treadmill since I run differently on them and also know there's definitely some aid as you don't have terrain or wind to battle (and I'm not sure 1% incline takes care of both of those??).  But, a successful tempo workout nonetheless!  Nate was there to do it with me, which was really nice.

His running is really coming along, which is fun to see.  Crazy how following a set plan helps! :)

The next two days I had 8 miles easy in order to rest a little before a long MP/T workout on Saturday.  So, I figured Thursday would be a good time to get one last hard lifting session in.  I did my squats (30 lb dumbbell, 2x12), hip flexor extensions, hamstring paw-backs, box step ups and calf raises along with a bit of core work.  Not sure if it was the squats or the lifting in general, but my legs were pretty fried for Thursday's run.  Same thing Friday.

And although I was hoping they'd recover by Saturday, no such luck.  My workout was 6 miles at MP, 1 at tempo, 5 at MP, and 1.1 at tempo (practicing changing speeds mid-race).  I went out controlled, hitting the first mile  and a half at 6:10s.  Perfect. Except that 6:10s were taking waaaayy too much effort.  We then turned into the headwind, which we'd run into for the next 10 or so miles, and my paces quickly dropped to 6:30s and 6:40s.  Yikes.  I couldn't go any faster!  The legs were heavy and didn't want to rotate any quicker.  Since this was supposed to be MP effort, I allowed myself to relax and be OK running these slower paces.  Perhaps this is my current MP fitness - and I guess that's okay!  After all, where I'm at currently (and for Fargo) is just a stepping stone to where I'll be this fall.  I can be patient.  (After all, there's nothing you really CAN do about being slower than you'd like at any moment, other than trust in the training process)

I finished in 1:25.xx.  Obviously, that scares me a little bit- I was hoping to be between 1:20 and 1:22:30.

Fast forward to today, Tuesday.  Just 11 days until the marathon, and my 2nd to last tempo workout.  My legs recovered well after the half marathon so I felt more confident going into this.  I had three tempo segments - and three wonderful training partners!  Team TNT met for the first time this spring.  Ahh, so nice to have a great group.  Plus, Brian and  Nate are much faster than they were  last fall, so they were ALL at some point were side-by-side with me (along with Craig).  How cool is that?  It is SO awesome to train hard right next to someone.  Makes me push harder!!

Segment averages were: 6:02, 6:10 (was 6:02 until a bathroom stop was necessary!), 5:55.  I'll take it!

From here, I just have one more tempo workout and then a short tempo shake out (can't really be called a workout) next week.  This seems crazy... I don't feel ready! (Do you ever? :))
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 In coaching related news, has anyone read either of these books?  I'm looking to become a little more thoughtful and planned out with my stretching and plyo work next cycle (and have a defined plan for my athletes).  Curious on your thoughts or if there are better resources out there.




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In non-running related news, I have officially started garden veggies and flowers from seed.  This is something I've wanted  to do for some time, but didn't have the time.  The only thing... building and filling garden beds during a taper is NOT a good idea so I'm hoping I can keep them alive until after Fargo.  Wish me luck!

Look at that! Herbs, Brussels, broccoli, cauliflower, cabbage, squash and zucchini.  More to be planted in the ground once we make the beds. 

Oops, sideways.  But things are GROWING! Not going to lie, I felt so proud when I first saw them sprouting! :)

This should be a fun adventure!


Until the next post, run happy!  The sun is out, spring is here - you can't HELP but to run happy! :)

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